Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Tiger Will Bludgeon You With His Little Finger
In light of the Mitchell Report, I don't know what to think about this photo. It's as if Tiger has become a cyborg and the devious scientist who created him decided to screw David Boston's arms to Tiger's torso. Given the following, however, I'm pretty sure Tiger is clean:
(1) He's about ten majors ahead of anybody who would be considered a remote threat to his reign over all things golf. He could smoke two packs a day and eat chili cheese fries every meal and still break the Golden Bear's record for majors by 2010.
(2) His head appears to still be the same size as it was when he was the skinny kid in the red shirt in 1997. Call this the Barry Test.
Really, the question is this: What would happen if Tiger and Tim Tebow decided to throw hands?
I'm convinced it would be like the last 45 minutes of Transformers where the entire city got torn to shreds by the giant robots fighting each other, and it was really hard to figure out who won.
In the end, there would be no winners. And in fact the real losers would be everyone living in the path of Tiger v Tebow.