You and Me and this EAR makes THREE!

And we have a winner! Red Raider Rick wins the 1560 THE GAME t-shirt by emailing me this beauty of Roger Clemens and his third ear!


On a related note, I mentioned in the previous post that I would be inclined to believe the first guy to flinch and take the other guy to court. Well, Roger won that race this morning, filing a defamation suit against Brian McNamee. Congrats to Roger on his first bold move of this battle. We'll see if McNamee still pushes forward with a countersuit. Oh the DRAMA!!!

T-minus 4 hours until today's high tea and krumpets with the media, and then it's off to Congress for Steroidpalooza on January 16th!!!

Tiger Will Bludgeon You With His Little Finger

In light of the Mitchell Report, I don't know what to think about this photo. It's as if Tiger has become a cyborg and the devious scientist who created him decided to screw David Boston's arms to Tiger's torso. Given the following, however, I'm pretty sure Tiger is clean:

(1) He's about ten majors ahead of anybody who would be considered a remote threat to his reign over all things golf. He could smoke two packs a day and eat chili cheese fries every meal and still break the Golden Bear's record for majors by 2010.

(2) His head appears to still be the same size as it was when he was the skinny kid in the red shirt in 1997. Call this the Barry Test.

Really, the question is this: What would happen if Tiger and Tim Tebow decided to throw hands?

I'm convinced it would be like the last 45 minutes of Transformers where the entire city got torn to shreds by the giant robots fighting each other, and it was really hard to figure out who won.

In the end, there would be no winners. And in fact the real losers would be everyone living in the path of Tiger v Tebow.

MITCHELL REPORT-PALOOZA!!

Wow, what a day. Who would've thought the Mitchell Report would provide so much fun. We were first treated to a rousing morning of rumors and innuendo of whom would be on the list (Albert Pujols, anyone?), followed by George Mitchell's press conference (recommended viewing for any insomniacs out there), and then the treat of reading the report itself where the jaw dropping description of Brian McNamee injecting Roger Clemens buttocks full of juice was enough to subdue the anger that my Alex Rodriguez-Johnny Damon steroid exacta ticket was not going to cash in on this fateful day.

In the end, I'm glad that the vultures can finally leave David Wells and C.C. Sabathia alone and know that their bodies are the result of hard work, and the only chemical that they've ingested is Yellow Dye #5 (found in Twinkies). Rock on, big men!

For those of you looking for some time to kill, the Mitchell Report itself is some of the best reading I've come across in quite sometime, complete with images of canceled checks and Fedex tracking slips. So f-ing sweet!

Other Mitchell Report links!

• Learn more about the guy who ratted out Roger Clemens. It's McNamee Time! [ESPN.com]
• Want to know what Barry Bonds' teammates knew about his shenanigans? Who doesn't?!? [ESPN.com]
• As usual, Deadspin has a few nuggets, including some Suzyn Waldman video footage. [Deadspin]
• The list of alleged users. [The Big Lead]
• For those of you who don't feel like reading the list, then sit back and enjoy the dulcet tones of Youtube legend, Kige Ramsey, as he reads you the names. Most of them are pronounced correctly. Apologies on behalf of Kige to Benito Santiago (Kige calls him Bento), Jack Cust (Kige, obviously with pizza on the brain, calls him Crust), and Josias Manzanillo (Kige calls him something that sounded like Joseph Menzifdghltehs) [Youtube]
  
• Now the actual list from Mitchell versus the "leaked list" that circulated on Thursday morning. [Hugging Harold Reynolds]
• Best Headline of this whole ordeal. [Hugging Harold Reynolds]
  
• Roger Goodell's "reaction" to the entire Mitchell escapades. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

And finally, Bud Selig's reaction to the report.



Justice will be served, cheaters -- SELIG STYLE!! Somebody go wake up the Gimp.