The Greatness That is Kige Ramsey

If you don't know who Kige Ramsey is, learn the name. He's the new face in sports commentary, rocking his opinions for about a year now for Youtube Sports, the one man media conglomerate that Kige founded right around the same time he found out how to upload video from his camera. Headquartered in his parents' basement, here is an example of the no-nonsense greatness that is Kige Ramsey ....



Notice the 9 second dramatic pause! Awesome. I was totally on the edge of my seat. His prediction turned out to be wrong, but still the drama was amazing.

And Kige is about so much more than just sports. Check out his spring break advice, courtesy of Youtube Travel, which I can only assume is a wholly owned subsidiary of Youtube sports ....



Does it stop at travel tips? Hell no! Having problems with acne? Kige is right there to help you clear up that pizza face ....



I agree, Kige! I "don't think none of them work neither". So good.

Staying with the medical theme, Kige takes us on a journey back to where it all started -- the hospital in which he was born!



Diet tips ....



Exercise tips ....



There's nothing he can't do!





All hail, the KIGE-STER!!!

Move over, Duke! Dickie V has a BRAND NEW LOVER!

Let me preface what I am about to post by saying that I like Tyler Hansbrough. I don't mean personally, I mean as a basketball player. I don't know him personally. For all I know he could be a typical 20-something frat boy jerk, although admittedly he comes across as very likable in interviews. But as far as what he does on the court, it certainly works at the collegiate level. He scraps, he draws fouls (and then actually hits foul shots! Novel concept), he brings energy that his team feeds off of, and he's a decent athlete for a big guy.

I issue that preface because what I am about to say will sound like I am hating on Tyler Hansbrough. I am not. I am merely sharing with all of you the nausea that was inflicted upon me by Mike Patrick and Dick Vitale on Saturday during the UNC-Virginia Tech game. Anybody who has watched a game called by Patrick and Vitale knows that they can latch onto something and then proceed to beat us over the head for the next two hours with their overly glowing opinions on said subject matter (which are delivered from each of them as the gospel truth), oftentimes to the detriment of the broadcast. Now for Vitale and Patrick, this was hallowed ground previously reserved for all things Duke (interspersed with the occasional "Indiana is clinically insane if they don't re-hire Bobby Knight" rant from Vitale), but with the Blue Devils turning into a rich man's version of a run and gun, bombs away mid-major this season, it appears Dukie V and Patrick have found a new play toy and it's Psycho T.

Now circling back to my preface, I like Tyler Hansbrough. He is certainly deserving of All American mention and even Player of the Year accolades. (Myself, I would go with Michael Beasley, but Hansbrough's had a great year.) But the Virgina Tech game on Saturday was essentially a two hour infomercial for Tyler Hansbrough with Vitale and Patrick taking turns playing Ron Popeil. (The last second jumper by Psycho T to win the game was basically the equivalent of the perfectly cooked meal coming out of the Turbo Cooker at the end of the infomercial.)

Hansbrough is a very good college player, but to hear Vitale and Patrick gush about him for two hours consecutively, you'd think that science found a way to create a Larry Bird/Moses Malone cyborg and they named him Tyler Hansbrough. Put it this way -- they spent the first two minutes of the game talking entirely about Hansbrough. I got a phone call and muted the TV. When I hung up the phone ten minutes later and came back, guess who they were talking about. Right.

Here are a few of the gems (in bold, and admittedly, I am paraphrasing from memory) with my thoughts, and be warned -- this is where I will start to sound like a Psycho T hater when in fact, I see myself merely as a Psycho T realist:

"He is really fast!" (Patrick after watching Hansbrough knock a ball away from one of Virginia Tech's guards from behind)

Not really, Mike. He just happens to be one of the few bigs in the country who would make the effort to chase down a guard from behind. He is a decent athlete. Energetic? Yes. Fast? No.

"Oh he gives sooooo much effort! He plays with more passion than anyone I've seen in my 29 years in this business!!! He's AWESOME, BABYYYYYYY!!!" (Vitale stroking out about Hansbrough's passion. This happened no fewer than 412 times during the broadcast, including on a play where Hansbrough got a dunk off of a "look what I found" rebound with no Virginia Tech player within ten feet of him.)

Vitale is constantly beating us over the head with the whole "most passionate player I've ever seen in 29 years" opinion. I don't know exactly how he measures this? Floor burns? Horrible white guy dances after buzzer beaters? Glazed psychotic look after getting bloodied by Gerald Henderson? Diameter of eyeballs? It has to be a combination of these elements because these are the only areas I can see where Hansbrough has truly distinguished himself from other "passionate" players. Psycho T brings it every night, I just don't know why Vitale has decided he is the most passionate player ever, other than the obvious ESPN-induced groupthink which states that anything happening right now is "the best ever!!".

"Hey, why not throw that shot up there? It actually goes in for him sometimes." (Vitale after Hansbrough threw up one of his patented off balance, fadeaway, below the rim, baseline heaves that barely caught rim)

Yeah, it goes in 10% of the time. They should try it every time down the floor. Huh?

"He's the type of kid who would come back for his senior year" (Patrick after a brief interplay with Vitale where they discussed Hansbrough leaving UNC after this season for the NBA Draft)

I think this was meant to be a "the kid is so infectious and just loves college" comment. The fact of the matter is that Patrick and Vitale are ignoring the 800 LB gorilla in the room -- Hansbrough is a marginal NBA prospect, at best. Anyone who follows mock drafts knows that Hansbrough would have probably been at best a late first round pick after his freshman year. Ditto his sophomore year. Now go to some of the mock draft sites and where do they have the great Psycho T? Same thing. Late first round, early second round. Hell, NBAdraft.net has him as a late first round pick ... in 2009! In other words, he is what he is, and the people who scout NBA talent for a living see him as having reached his ceiling. And it's a ceiling where if he were to come out, he'd be at serious risk of being a second round pick and not getting the guaranteed pay day that comes with being a first rounder. Unless he just hates college, of course he should come back to school for his senior year!

By the way, if Tyler Hansbrough has reached his ceiling (and unless he all of a sudden develops three point range on his jumper, I think he has) and if "he is what he is" as an NBA prospect, then what exactly is that? Honestly, I think Tyler Hansbrough is a role player on the NBA level, maybe a rich man's Mark Madsen. I don't think his post up game translates well at all to the NBA. He plays below the rim and his signature back to the basket move is that turnaround shot where he leans into the defender and flips it toward the rim (which gets sent back at him more than Vitale and Patrick would care to admit). Also, he gets a ton of points from the foul line (the last Duke game not withstanding) and he's not going to get "Player of the Year" respect from NBA referees. He's never gonna be a guy you run plays for in the NBA, so he's going to get most of his points by crashing the boards and getting garbage buckets. He is an effort guy, and unlike Madsen he can shoot a little bit, so there's definitely a place for him, but he'll never be a 20-10 (or even a 12-8 guy). I will predict right now that Vitale's head will explode during the NBA Draft when Hansbrough drops to late first round, and he'll scream about how (fill in name of NBA team here) is getting a "great kid, a passionate kid, and an absolute steal at the 29th pick overall, BABYYYYYYY!!!"

So Coach K, you better start sending Dickie V some fruit baskets. His voice is back and he's got a brand new object of his affection. And that play toy's name is Psycho T.

Z Report Draft Show - Episode III

Here is the latest podcast of the Z Report NFL Draft Show; this show ran live on 1560 The Game on Thursday night, March 6. Next show will be live on Thursday, March 13 at 6:00 PM right after the "Sean and John Show".

Chalk up ANOTHER one for Scientology! YAY!

I can list all of the addictions that I've battled in my life fairly easily:

- Pizza nachos
- Youtube
- $10 parlays that pay like $8,342 (lifetime record: 0-712)
- Sopranos DVD's

I will say that I feel fortunate that I've never had to battle drug addictions, especially after watching Jeff Conaway (and others) stumble their way through the Celebrity Rehab series. It's scary to see people who have access to the best care in the world still not even come close to turning the corner.

Until now!

According to Conaway, it wasn't until he found Scientology that he was finally able to cross "getting hopped up on goofballs" off of his daily to-do list for good. From Inside Edition:

"I’ve been doing Scientology...my doctor was like, 'Holy cow,' he says, 'Whatever you’ve been doing keep doing it because it’s really working.' ”

Conaway says his former Grease co-star John Travolta introduced him to the controversial religion. “John and I stayed friends but he couldn’t watch me going down the tubes…he gave me a whole library of Scientology books and he’s given me an auditor who comes almost every day.”

That's right! Chalk another one up for Xenu! Another satisfied customer!

Most heart warming subplot of this whole thing. Thirty some odd years after Thunder Road, Zuko still has Kenickie's back. They go together like ramalamalama kadingygadingydong.....

Z Report Draft Show - Episode II

In case you haven't had a chance to listen yet, I am co-hosting a weekly NFL Draft Preview show with my good friends Lance Zierlein and John Harris called the Z Report NFL Draft Show (named after Lance's Z Report blog, which is linked to this here blog). Below you can find the podcast for last week's show. If you live in the Houston area or stream our station on the internet, you can hear the Z Report NFL Draft Show on 1560 The Game at 6:00 Central Time on Thursdays.

Cornell puts on their DANCE shoes! Let the Madness BEGIN!!

Forget pitchers and catchers, this weekend the REAL sign that spring is almost here took place. Every March (sometimes sooner), the Ivy League champion clinches their conference title and thus enters automatic access to the Big Dance, firing the first of 64 Big Dance salvos that will be unleashed in the next two weeks. You see, the Ivy League is the last of the D-1 basketball leagues to crown their regular season champion as their true champion. All of the other conferences crowns their champion with a (sometimes ... ok, rarely) lucrative conference tournament. Ivy Leaguers are too busy with splitting atoms and slicing open cadavers to bother with a conference tournament so they kick it old school and actually have a regular season that matters. Personally, I am a fan of having the student-athletes play as many games as possible for my enjoyment, classwork be damned, but that's just me.

(For the record and for those of you who think I should have referred to "65 Big Dance salvos" above not 64, I don't count the two play-in game participants as part of the field until one of them leaves the court in Dayton on that fateful Tuesday night with a W. Then the 64th salvo is finally fired. On this there can be no debate.)

Oh by the way, major ups to the Cornell Big Red for winning the Ivy League. I can think of one fictitious Cornell graduate who has to be ecstatic ....



BRACKETOLOGY CENTRAL

Here are links to some of the latest mock brackets from around the web. We at the Sports Kolache will be tracking every tiny little tremor in the world of brackets and bubbles over the next couple weeks.

ESPN Bracketology (Joe Lunardi)
ESPN Bubble Watch (Andy Glockner)
CBS Sportsline Field of 65 (Gary Parrish)
CNNSI Hoop Thoughts (Seth Davis)
March Madness All Season
March to Madness
Sporting News (Ryan Fagan)

Stone Cold Bloggin', 3/2/08

Ok, I'll admit it. I'm starting to become a believer in the Yao-less Rockets. The wins over Washington and Memphis were nice (and necessary), but the fact is neither of those teams has a big guy that puts any sort of scare into you. Brendan Haywood? Kwame Brown? Whatever. In other words, a frontcourt of Dikembe for 20 minutes and the dreaded, two-headed Sco-Landrinator is more than enough to get you to the pay window. This Nuggets win is an obvious cut above the first two, for a couple reasons. First and foremost, the Nuggets are in that mix of teams (along with Golden State, Dallas, Phoenix, and New Orleans) that the Rockets will be presumably duking it out with for survival at season's end, so a win against anyone in that group takes on larger importance than beating up on the Grizz or the Wiz. Second, this was another game where the Rockets got a first half lead and proceeded to put their foot on the opposition's esophagus, and in this case an opponent who has the weapons to mount a second half charge. That charge never came.

I probably need to stop waiting for Shane to quit hitting three's, for Rafer to turn into a pumpkin, and for the team to issue a press release saying T-Mac will miss the next ten games with a floor burn, and just enjoy this ride. The seeds are being planted for a pretty sweet NBA story if the Rockets can make a run into the post season. Except for the Lakers, Spurs, and maybe the Jazz, you can make a case for the re-conifigured, post-Yao Rockets being a better team than any of the other teams in the West. Hell, it looks like the Suns (clearly) and Mavericks (possibly) have actually made themselves worse with their big trades. I'm not saying the Rockets are definitively better than these teams, it's too early to tell. I'm just saying there is an argument, which frankly is a lot more than most of us (my hand is raised) were willing to concede a few days ago.

Circle March 6. The Rockets go to Dallas on the tail end of a back-to-back. If we're talking about win #17 in a row in Thursday night, it's on.

Now for some Monday time wasters ...

LINKS

• Many a tale from NFL Combines past [The Sports Hernia]
• Bas Rutten has an e-card for everyone that is interested in the new movie "Never Back Down", a/k/a Karate Kid 2008 [Never Back Down]
• Rutgers tries to maintain its spot in college football relevancy via the old fashioned way -- new fangled mouthguards. [Wizard of Odds]
• Pittsburgh's PNC Park, last in baseball, first in eating! Yes, those four magic words -- ALL YOU CAN EAT! [Bugs and Cranks]
• WWE Action Figure test (sadly, I scored 100%). [Mental Floss]
• Early gauge on the Coach's Hot Seat -- it's Ty Willingham in the lead! [Coaches Hot Seat]
• The Koncak League! An idea that is long overdue. [TY Sports]
• A Boise high school football player is suing Hawaii over revoking a scholarship offer. Believed to be the first time this has happened. What took so long? [Wizard of Odds]
• Breaking down the Terrelle Pryor sweepstakes [Detroit Free Press]
  

VIDEOS

This one is an oldie but a goodie. Be patient, there is a pay off at the end, and it involves a heavy set reporter wailing like Chewbacca in a bondage rack.



And here is the animated version ...



And the remake ...



How to get ahead in the weatherman universe? Act the fool, like Mark Mathis ....



I love old Sopranos clips. This is one of the greatest scenes in the history of the series. Actually, if you think about the whole Mitchell Report saga, imagine Clemens as Tony, Pettitte as Paulie Walnuts, Chuck Knoblauch as Silvio, and McNamee as Big Pussy. Don't you think there is part of Roger that wishes he found out McNamee had ratted him out to the Feds early enough to take him boat shopping?



Borseth vs Gundy rants. I think rants have now jumped the shark, don't you?