Naturally curious, I took the exit and found this fellow standing at the stop light at the bottom the ramp rambling to himself. The Warrior lives....in Alabama of all places!
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
SUNDAY, JULY 6th (Part III) - My favorite exit in Alabama
After picking up two t-shirts (including a nice redneck sleeveless joint for $4.99) and a bathing suit for a grand total of $42 at Academy (the right stuff...the low price...INDEED!), I began the trek north to the great state of Tennessee. Heading north on I-65 toward Huntsville, I passed the exit pictured below:
Naturally curious, I took the exit and found this fellow standing at the stop light at the bottom the ramp rambling to himself. The Warrior lives....in Alabama of all places!
Naturally curious, I took the exit and found this fellow standing at the stop light at the bottom the ramp rambling to himself. The Warrior lives....in Alabama of all places!
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
SUNDAY, JULY 6th (Part II) - An Alabama Staple ... THE WIGGLY!
If you've never lived in or been through the South, you just can't understand the magnitude of the Piggly Wiggly. It's a Southern Institution. So when I rolled up behind a Wiggly truck, naturally I had to take a picture.
I think SEC Guy can do a much better job of capturing the essence of the Wiggly. Here you go ....
I think SEC Guy can do a much better job of capturing the essence of the Wiggly. Here you go ....
SUNDAY, JULY 6th (Part I) - Porn for the SEC GUY
If you listen to 1560 The Game, you know about SEC Guy. His name is Karol Kenton Kogslotter, and he frequently contributes to our programming on 1560. He is a 60-something family practitioner who lives in Alabama and eats, breathes, sweats and lives all things SEC football, particularly the Alabama Crimson Tide. In SEC Guy's eyes, the sun rises and sets at John Parker Wilson's locker, the WAC and Mountain West don't exist, and Kenny Stabler has been framed by an Auburn police officer on all twelve of his DUI's. So it's only natural that as I drove around the Alabama campus that I would think about SEC Guy and how enthralled he would be by my surroundings. And it's why I entitled this post "Porn for the SEC GUY". I have to believe that he pops in VHS tapes (maybe beta tapes... ok, maybe reel to reel films) of old Joe Willie Namath highlights and gets that "special feeling", kind of like those skeevy pervs when they pull into the parking lot at those 24 hour adult bookstores.
Ironically, one of the first places I passed as I made my way onto campus was a Jimmy John's sandwich shop. Why is this ironic?
Well, if you've been following the news out of Tuscaloosa, you know that Jimmy Johns is also the name of an Alabama linebacker who was recently arrested on charges that he was selling cocaine to undercover police officers. To see the actual sandwich shop about a block from the stadium, with an Alabama banner in front of it to boot, was just too perfect. So I had to capture the moment for posterity's sake.
In fact, SEC Guy's most recent effort on the "Sean and John Show" (or as SEC Guy calls it, the Shane and Jacob Show) was his plea for an investigation into the possible framing of Jimmy Johns the linebacker. You can catch this piece of radio brilliance by clicking on the icon below. Trust me, it's worth it.
With the disrespectful-to-the-legacy-of-The-Bear chicanery out of the way, I made my way over to Bryant-Denny Stadium.
Now, Lord knows that the gods of college football have given us
enough reasons to be the scandals, and the patronizing references to a barely existent "student-athlete" (well, barely existent in many places at least),cynical about the game what with the BCS, but I have to admit it still gives me a tingly sensation in my nether regions when I walk up on a hallowed college football cathedral like Bryant-Denny Stadium. To know that the greats like Jay Barker and Brodie Croyle have slung the rock around that yard, I mean you can almost smell the greatness ... oh wait, that's the bread at Jimmy Johns (mmmm....freeeee smeeelllls .... AGGGGHHHHH ....channeling my inner Homer Simpson). Anyway, it was very cool seeing the stadium, even if it was just the outside.
My next stop was to head to the bookstore and add the University of Alabama to my cadre of tee shirts on this trip. There was only one problem, and it was the same issue that I encountered in Hattiesburg -- apparently, the south has a ban on opening stores with books during the month of July. WTF?!? Did someone pass a law making July Illiteracy Month in the Deep South? C'mon Alabama! I mean, I expect that kind of behavior from Mississippi, but you guys are at least ranked in like the mid-40's in public education (as opposed to, well, 50th like Mississippi). You're better than that. Open a freaking bookstore. Hell, it wasn't just the bookstore. ALL of the Bama gear shops were closed! I'll chalk it up to being a Sunday and assume that there are blue laws in Alabama that I'm not aware of.
So desparately needing a tee shirt, I went to the one place that I knew I could count on ... the one place that has all of your tee shirt needs covered .... 6,000 1560 tee shirts sold .... for all of your sporting goods and outdoor needs ... the right stuff, the low price .... ACADEMY!!!
I knew I could count on them!!
On a whim, thinking that perhaps the station is blowing up in Alabama, I asked the lady behind the counter if they had any 1560 tee shirts. When she responded with "1560? Them shirts over there are only 8 bucks! Just grab one of them, save yourself like 10 bucks!!" then I knew that we still had more work to do back in Houston.
We're not quite blowing up in Alabama ... not yet. It's coming though.
So with the Dreamland BBQ ribs still nestled snugly in my digestive tract and rocking my new Alabama tee shirt, I hit the road to head to Music City.
Ironically, one of the first places I passed as I made my way onto campus was a Jimmy John's sandwich shop. Why is this ironic?
Well, if you've been following the news out of Tuscaloosa, you know that Jimmy Johns is also the name of an Alabama linebacker who was recently arrested on charges that he was selling cocaine to undercover police officers. To see the actual sandwich shop about a block from the stadium, with an Alabama banner in front of it to boot, was just too perfect. So I had to capture the moment for posterity's sake.In fact, SEC Guy's most recent effort on the "Sean and John Show" (or as SEC Guy calls it, the Shane and Jacob Show) was his plea for an investigation into the possible framing of Jimmy Johns the linebacker. You can catch this piece of radio brilliance by clicking on the icon below. Trust me, it's worth it.
With the disrespectful-to-the-legacy-of-The-Bear chicanery out of the way, I made my way over to Bryant-Denny Stadium.
Now, Lord knows that the gods of college football have given us
enough reasons to be the scandals, and the patronizing references to a barely existent "student-athlete" (well, barely existent in many places at least),cynical about the game what with the BCS, but I have to admit it still gives me a tingly sensation in my nether regions when I walk up on a hallowed college football cathedral like Bryant-Denny Stadium. To know that the greats like Jay Barker and Brodie Croyle have slung the rock around that yard, I mean you can almost smell the greatness ... oh wait, that's the bread at Jimmy Johns (mmmm....freeeee smeeelllls .... AGGGGHHHHH ....channeling my inner Homer Simpson). Anyway, it was very cool seeing the stadium, even if it was just the outside.My next stop was to head to the bookstore and add the University of Alabama to my cadre of tee shirts on this trip. There was only one problem, and it was the same issue that I encountered in Hattiesburg -- apparently, the south has a ban on opening stores with books during the month of July. WTF?!? Did someone pass a law making July Illiteracy Month in the Deep South? C'mon Alabama! I mean, I expect that kind of behavior from Mississippi, but you guys are at least ranked in like the mid-40's in public education (as opposed to, well, 50th like Mississippi). You're better than that. Open a freaking bookstore. Hell, it wasn't just the bookstore. ALL of the Bama gear shops were closed! I'll chalk it up to being a Sunday and assume that there are blue laws in Alabama that I'm not aware of.
So desparately needing a tee shirt, I went to the one place that I knew I could count on ... the one place that has all of your tee shirt needs covered .... 6,000 1560 tee shirts sold .... for all of your sporting goods and outdoor needs ... the right stuff, the low price .... ACADEMY!!!
I knew I could count on them!!On a whim, thinking that perhaps the station is blowing up in Alabama, I asked the lady behind the counter if they had any 1560 tee shirts. When she responded with "1560? Them shirts over there are only 8 bucks! Just grab one of them, save yourself like 10 bucks!!" then I knew that we still had more work to do back in Houston.
We're not quite blowing up in Alabama ... not yet. It's coming though.
So with the Dreamland BBQ ribs still nestled snugly in my digestive tract and rocking my new Alabama tee shirt, I hit the road to head to Music City.
SATURDAY, JULY 5th (Part VI) - Tuscaloosa, AL
I crossed over the Alabama border, and I was understandably proud. Proud that I was able to cobble Brett Favre's illiterate hometown, a stop in Hattiesburg, and a few billboards into enough material for four blogposts. I mean, if they made blogging an Olympic sport, what would the degree of difficulty be on that? Wouldn't that be like the Triple Lindy of blogging? I'll let you judge for yourself ... what is more difficult? Putting together my recent slew of blog posts on a nothin' happenin' backwater like Mississippi, or this ...
Yeah, I thought so. Screw you, MELLON!!
So when I put my trip out there publicly for our listener base to comment on/contribute to/ridicule, the one eatery that was designated as "can't miss" more than any other was the Dreamland BBQ in Tuscaloosa. So I pulled into Tuscaloosa late afternoon on Saturday, and knowing that I would be hitting the 'Bama campus on Sunday, and also starving from having not eaten in nearly three hours (gasp!), I made consuming those delectable ribs my priority. (That is after checking into the luxurious Fairfield Inn off of Skyland Avenue, complete with continental breakfast!)
I followed Mapquest's directions to the Dreamland, and as I was weaving up hills and along curvy rural backroads I started questioning why we trust any computers ever. (Yes, I'm looking right at you my sweet little laptop ... don't look at me like that ... ) As it turns out, my computer was being truthful; the Dreamland BBQ is off the beaten path, standing by its lonesome at the top of a hill in the middle of one of Tuscaloosa's, um, less affluent neighborhoods.
The first thing I noticed when you walk in is the "hole in the wall" feel to the place, and I don't mean that in a derogatory way. I mean it as the highest compliment. Old school booths, old school counter seats, and walls seemingly papered with autographed pictures of famous people who have consumed their ribs.
And here is the best part ... I was the only person there! Total old school feel. I felt like Tony Soprano eating by himself in an empty Vesuvio's. Only replace "Tony" with a starving radio host, replace "mushroom tortellini" with slabs of ribs, and replace New Jersey with ... well, somewhere that most assuredly was not New Jersey.
The beauty in Dreamland was in its simplicity. I have said this many times about In N Out Burger -- there is a reason that they are so good. You go there, and they only do one thing. Hamburgers (well, and fries and shakes, but you get my drift). And they do it better than anyone. (Sorry, Whataburger loyalists.) Well, Dreamland BBQ is like the In N Out Burger of ribs. Their menu has ribs, a couple sides, and that's it. When I sat down and my waitress Faye came over to take my order, there was no indecisiveness on my part. There didn't need to be. All Faye had to say was "Wanna start off with half a slab?" and all I had to do was grunt, and it was on like Donkey Kong ... assuming Mario were a rib-devouring slob. Faye brought out a plate of white bread, a half slab of mouth watering ribs, and my large coke, and I went to work (Pendergast quirk you may not have been aware of -- when eating dinner, I'd much rather have a soda than a beer. Now when getting hammered, I'd much rather have beer, but for dinner, Coke is my drink of choice.). The sauce was the perfect combination of spicy, sweet and tangy. I think I mopped up every drop with the white bread sponges they gave me. Three plates of ribs later, they rolled me out of there like the Oompa Loompa's rolling out Violet Beauregard after she carelessly defied Wonka's orders to not eat the gum.
I mean look at these pics of the front of the building. When I pulled in, it was still light out. When I left, it was dark and they had to practically kick me out.
Needless to say, everything from the atmosphere to the food to the service equated out to the highest grade on the trip yet. And for good measure, the staff at the Dreamland dropped the double rods. Say "Hello" to Raymond, Faye, Carmen, and Rhonda!
DREAMLAND BBQ - TUSCALOOSA, AL
FOOD: SEVERAL SLABS OF RIBS AND LOAVES OF BREAD
GRADE: A+
Yeah, I thought so. Screw you, MELLON!!
So when I put my trip out there publicly for our listener base to comment on/contribute to/ridicule, the one eatery that was designated as "can't miss" more than any other was the Dreamland BBQ in Tuscaloosa. So I pulled into Tuscaloosa late afternoon on Saturday, and knowing that I would be hitting the 'Bama campus on Sunday, and also starving from having not eaten in nearly three hours (gasp!), I made consuming those delectable ribs my priority. (That is after checking into the luxurious Fairfield Inn off of Skyland Avenue, complete with continental breakfast!)
I followed Mapquest's directions to the Dreamland, and as I was weaving up hills and along curvy rural backroads I started questioning why we trust any computers ever. (Yes, I'm looking right at you my sweet little laptop ... don't look at me like that ... ) As it turns out, my computer was being truthful; the Dreamland BBQ is off the beaten path, standing by its lonesome at the top of a hill in the middle of one of Tuscaloosa's, um, less affluent neighborhoods.
The first thing I noticed when you walk in is the "hole in the wall" feel to the place, and I don't mean that in a derogatory way. I mean it as the highest compliment. Old school booths, old school counter seats, and walls seemingly papered with autographed pictures of famous people who have consumed their ribs.
And here is the best part ... I was the only person there! Total old school feel. I felt like Tony Soprano eating by himself in an empty Vesuvio's. Only replace "Tony" with a starving radio host, replace "mushroom tortellini" with slabs of ribs, and replace New Jersey with ... well, somewhere that most assuredly was not New Jersey.The beauty in Dreamland was in its simplicity. I have said this many times about In N Out Burger -- there is a reason that they are so good. You go there, and they only do one thing. Hamburgers (well, and fries and shakes, but you get my drift). And they do it better than anyone. (Sorry, Whataburger loyalists.) Well, Dreamland BBQ is like the In N Out Burger of ribs. Their menu has ribs, a couple sides, and that's it. When I sat down and my waitress Faye came over to take my order, there was no indecisiveness on my part. There didn't need to be. All Faye had to say was "Wanna start off with half a slab?" and all I had to do was grunt, and it was on like Donkey Kong ... assuming Mario were a rib-devouring slob. Faye brought out a plate of white bread, a half slab of mouth watering ribs, and my large coke, and I went to work (Pendergast quirk you may not have been aware of -- when eating dinner, I'd much rather have a soda than a beer. Now when getting hammered, I'd much rather have beer, but for dinner, Coke is my drink of choice.). The sauce was the perfect combination of spicy, sweet and tangy. I think I mopped up every drop with the white bread sponges they gave me. Three plates of ribs later, they rolled me out of there like the Oompa Loompa's rolling out Violet Beauregard after she carelessly defied Wonka's orders to not eat the gum.
I mean look at these pics of the front of the building. When I pulled in, it was still light out. When I left, it was dark and they had to practically kick me out.
Needless to say, everything from the atmosphere to the food to the service equated out to the highest grade on the trip yet. And for good measure, the staff at the Dreamland dropped the double rods. Say "Hello" to Raymond, Faye, Carmen, and Rhonda!
DREAMLAND BBQ - TUSCALOOSA, AL
FOOD: SEVERAL SLABS OF RIBS AND LOAVES OF BREAD
GRADE: A+
SATURDAY, JULY 5th (Part V) - Final Add Mississippi
I know that when I'm planning a party, and I go through the final checklist, there is no sweeter sound than being able to say "Fireworks? Check. ..... Streakers? Check."
Somewhere at the end of this dirt road in Mississippi, someone is planning a kick ass party.
Best part is, if you look real closely, you can see that this road also is the home of a Baptist Church. I believe it is the second book of Colossians that mentions streakers and fireworks.
Frank the Tank would've loved Mississippi ...
Somewhere at the end of this dirt road in Mississippi, someone is planning a kick ass party.
Best part is, if you look real closely, you can see that this road also is the home of a Baptist Church. I believe it is the second book of Colossians that mentions streakers and fireworks.
Frank the Tank would've loved Mississippi ...
Monday, July 7, 2008
SATURDAY, JULY 5th (Part IV) - Hattiesburg, MS
As I stated from the outset of this trip, my goals largely center around getting college gear at the college towns I pass through and sampling cuisine in each city. Anything that occurs beyond that such as finding the future ex-Mrs. Pendergast or solving some struggling Kentucky town's budget crisis, I'll consider gravy.
With that in mind, I ventured to Hattiesburg, MS, to pick up some Southern Mississippi Golden Eagles gear. Sure, Southern Miss is not a BCS school, but I felt like I needed to make a statement that even though my alma mater's total revenue from athletics is higher than the
GNP of some third world countries, I am all about the little guy. So I ventured to the Southern Miss campus, which on a Saturday in July was kind of like New York City in "I Am Legend". Lots of big buildings, lots of weeds, and no other living, breathing organism within 20 miles. The only thing separating me and Robert Neville were a dog and some pigmentation.
Hopeful that there might be a live person selling Southern Miss t-shirts somewhere on campus, I made my way to the bookstore. There was only one problem -- it was closed.
Honestly, I'm not sure what I was thinking. I mean, we're talking about a state in which literacy is basically optional during the school year, and I'm expecting them to keep a store that sells BOOKS open in the summertime? How brain dead am I? Luckily, I made the mistake of driving the wrong way down a one way street on the Southern Miss campus, forcing a campus police car to pull me over, and therefore giving me exclusive access to the only other living, breathing person on campus so I could ask him where in the hell I might be able to get a Golden Eagles tee shirt. So as I sit here dangerously on the precipice of boring you to tears with this story, I will sum up by saying I was able to secure a nice Southern Miss Under Armor tee shirt at an off campus location.
Everyone knows that the physical toll your body takes from sitting on your ass in a car all day can make you hungry,
so it was time to find a Hattiesburg staple to call home for the next hour or so. One of the lovely young ladies at the tee shirt store told me that if I'm in town for one meal that I needed to get a burger at Mugshot's. So far be it from me to eschew the advice of a pretty tee shirt selling, fair haired lass. "TO MUGSHOT'S!!", I shouted and then I gallavanted out of the store like a warrior poet.
My first reaction when I pulled into the Mugshot's parking lot was, from the outside, this would easily be the nicest restaurant in Louisiana. My second reaction was how ironic it was to be eating at a place called Mugshot's in somewhere other than Tuscaloosa. (I later found out that Tuscaloosa also has a Mugshot's, thereby restoring cosmic order to my universe.)
Apparently, burgers are sort of the Mugshot's specialty -- kind of like wings at Buffalo Wild Wings, calzones at Nick's Place, or salmonella at White Castle.
(Just kidding, White Castle.) Their signature burger is called, of all things, the "Mugshot". Go figure. It's like three burgers tall, with a couple different buns, and lots of fixings. You can see it in the picture here next to the lovely, doublerods-administering Dixie and Shawna. Knowing that the Dreamland Barbecue in Tuscaloosa was in my future on Saturday night, I decided to go for something a little more compact. I went with the Gamble Burger (one burger, lots of chili, queso, jalapenos, and sour cream). It had the word "gamble" in it, so that sounded about right. I was quite satisfied with my choice. My only complaint would be that it was so lathered in chili, queso, and such that it turned into a fork and knife meal about halfway through, and there's something about eating a burger with utensils that makes me feel like a little less of a man. So major points on the food and it's taste, but slight minus points for making me feel like a foo foo cake boy while eating it.
MUGSHOT'S - HATTIESBURG, MS
FOOD: GAMBLE BURGER
GRADE: A-
With that in mind, I ventured to Hattiesburg, MS, to pick up some Southern Mississippi Golden Eagles gear. Sure, Southern Miss is not a BCS school, but I felt like I needed to make a statement that even though my alma mater's total revenue from athletics is higher than the
GNP of some third world countries, I am all about the little guy. So I ventured to the Southern Miss campus, which on a Saturday in July was kind of like New York City in "I Am Legend". Lots of big buildings, lots of weeds, and no other living, breathing organism within 20 miles. The only thing separating me and Robert Neville were a dog and some pigmentation.Hopeful that there might be a live person selling Southern Miss t-shirts somewhere on campus, I made my way to the bookstore. There was only one problem -- it was closed.
Honestly, I'm not sure what I was thinking. I mean, we're talking about a state in which literacy is basically optional during the school year, and I'm expecting them to keep a store that sells BOOKS open in the summertime? How brain dead am I? Luckily, I made the mistake of driving the wrong way down a one way street on the Southern Miss campus, forcing a campus police car to pull me over, and therefore giving me exclusive access to the only other living, breathing person on campus so I could ask him where in the hell I might be able to get a Golden Eagles tee shirt. So as I sit here dangerously on the precipice of boring you to tears with this story, I will sum up by saying I was able to secure a nice Southern Miss Under Armor tee shirt at an off campus location.
Everyone knows that the physical toll your body takes from sitting on your ass in a car all day can make you hungry,
so it was time to find a Hattiesburg staple to call home for the next hour or so. One of the lovely young ladies at the tee shirt store told me that if I'm in town for one meal that I needed to get a burger at Mugshot's. So far be it from me to eschew the advice of a pretty tee shirt selling, fair haired lass. "TO MUGSHOT'S!!", I shouted and then I gallavanted out of the store like a warrior poet.My first reaction when I pulled into the Mugshot's parking lot was, from the outside, this would easily be the nicest restaurant in Louisiana. My second reaction was how ironic it was to be eating at a place called Mugshot's in somewhere other than Tuscaloosa. (I later found out that Tuscaloosa also has a Mugshot's, thereby restoring cosmic order to my universe.)
Apparently, burgers are sort of the Mugshot's specialty -- kind of like wings at Buffalo Wild Wings, calzones at Nick's Place, or salmonella at White Castle.
(Just kidding, White Castle.) Their signature burger is called, of all things, the "Mugshot". Go figure. It's like three burgers tall, with a couple different buns, and lots of fixings. You can see it in the picture here next to the lovely, doublerods-administering Dixie and Shawna. Knowing that the Dreamland Barbecue in Tuscaloosa was in my future on Saturday night, I decided to go for something a little more compact. I went with the Gamble Burger (one burger, lots of chili, queso, jalapenos, and sour cream). It had the word "gamble" in it, so that sounded about right. I was quite satisfied with my choice. My only complaint would be that it was so lathered in chili, queso, and such that it turned into a fork and knife meal about halfway through, and there's something about eating a burger with utensils that makes me feel like a little less of a man. So major points on the food and it's taste, but slight minus points for making me feel like a foo foo cake boy while eating it.MUGSHOT'S - HATTIESBURG, MS
FOOD: GAMBLE BURGER
GRADE: A-
SATURDAY, JULY 5th (Part III) - Just outside Kiln, MS
If you're like me, you (a) have barely enough money to make it to your 40th birthday, and (b) spend roughly 23 hours a day trying to figure out how to become independently wealthy, hopefully without having to try very hard. You rack your brain trying to find something special within your skillset that would yield a product for which people would pay handsomely. Handsomely enough to at least retire before you own a colostomy bag. Handsomely enough to at least make sure your kids college alma mater doesn't contain the word "Community" in it. Your head hurts from concocting business plans in your mind, and maybe even transcribing them on the proverbial cocktail napkin.
And then you drive through Mississippi, see a billboard, and realize that the best business plans sometimes are beautiful in their simplicity, and you lament "Why didn't I think of that?"....
BUSINESS PLAN -- Cheap beer. Cheap tobacco. Without leaving your car.
Bravo.
And then you drive through Mississippi, see a billboard, and realize that the best business plans sometimes are beautiful in their simplicity, and you lament "Why didn't I think of that?"....
BUSINESS PLAN -- Cheap beer. Cheap tobacco. Without leaving your car.
Bravo.
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