I've found that the answers to life's difficult questions can be found somewhere in the glorious two hours of "Footloose". And apparently, we've now got the video to prove it....
I know that when I needed to burn off some steam back in the day, I'd jump in the VW bug, head to an empty warehouse, rip the shirt off and freaking DANCE! If there happen to be some parallel bars around, then it's SO on. Hell yeah .....
Friday, December 7, 2007
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Stone Cold Bloggin', 12/7/07
A few thoughts as the baseball winter meetings become smaller in our rear view mirror:
The two big stories coming out of the meetings (Cabrera and Willis to Detroit, the ongoing "Where is Johan Santana going?" saga) further illustrate the chasm that still exists between the handful of "haves" sitting atop the revenue mountain, and the many species of "have nots" (ranging from the semi-destitute ball clubs like Minnesota to the rancid, flea-ridden homeless like Florida). I know that in the last two years we've seen 15 different teams make the playoffs, but in the end when the revenue pie gets bigger, it still becomes cost prohibitive/reckless for the mid-revenue/low-revenue ball clubs to keep their marquee guys. It's this dynamic that forces the have-nots to have baseball IQ's that virtually double their big market counterparts, and it's this dynamic that allows a dolt like Hank Steinbrenner to run a team that will be one of the odds-on favorites to win it all in 2008. (Of course, in the last eleven years, the Florida Marlins have won as many World Series as the Mets, Dodgers, Angels, White Sox, and Cubs combined so what the hell do I know.)
The Cabrera/Willis-to-Detroit trade was one of those fun "holy shit!" initial reaction trades, where as a baseball fan you immediately start scrambling for Detroit's roster so you can start constructing their opening day lineup. "Mother of God!....Granderson .... Polanco .... Cabrera .... Ordonez .... Sheffield ..... Guillen .... I-Rod .... whoever's playing left .... damn, they're gonna have Renteria in the f--ing NINE HOLE!" And then once you get past that, you realize that even with Willis they still don't have the pitching juice to overtake Boston (or Cleveland, for that matter). Check out the 2007 ERA's of the top four in Detroit's 2008 rotation:
Verlander 3.66
Willis 5.17
Bonderman 5.01
Rogers 4.43 (and a year's worth of injuries)
I'll take the front of the Red Sox and Indians' rotations over that every day and twice on Sundays. And this also doesn't begin to scratch the surface on the Tigers' bullpen issues, which still persist (and are exacerbated by the injury to Joel Zumaya).
Finally, what is the over/under on average attendance for the Florida Marlins this season? 8,000? 7,000? 4,500? Seriously, why would they even play home games? I think the Marlins need to just scrap the whole "Florida" thing and just get a sponsor and turn into one of those barnstorming teams where their whole year consists of road games and they travel from town to town on a motor coach bus. You know, one of those rigs with a phone booth sized bathroom in the back where you get hit with the pungent smell of other people's waste if your within ten rows of the back of the bus? The Marlin Express baby! They'd be like the Globetrotters! The Harlem Marlins! Josh Willingham could throw buckets of confetti at the umpires; Hanley Ramirez and Dan Uggla could turn double plays by using some fancy, behind the back flip throws, the melodious "Sweet Georgia Brown" playing in the background the entire time of course. Totally sweet.
Now some time wasters, because the economy is doing a little too well ....
LINKS
Congrats to Missouri QB Chase Daniel for getting the invite to New York City for the Heisman Trophy awards ceremony. He's had many fine performances this season, but none better than this ....
Which brings us to Kentucky freshman Pat Patterson, who upped the ante and actually ate one DURING the game ....
BRAVO.
MORE VIDS!
When I was a kid, Kermit the Frog sang songs like "It's Not Easy Being Green" and "Rainbow Connection". It appears that with the death of Jim Henson, he's gotten in touch with hsi dark side and significantly edgier ....
Melissa Theuriau almost makes me want to move to France. I like at the 0:30 mark where she mentions President "George Boosh"...
They are in the Division 1-AA semifinals, folks ... Appalchian State! And they are HOT HOT HOT!! Best video ever ... and by best, I mean worst ...
The two big stories coming out of the meetings (Cabrera and Willis to Detroit, the ongoing "Where is Johan Santana going?" saga) further illustrate the chasm that still exists between the handful of "haves" sitting atop the revenue mountain, and the many species of "have nots" (ranging from the semi-destitute ball clubs like Minnesota to the rancid, flea-ridden homeless like Florida). I know that in the last two years we've seen 15 different teams make the playoffs, but in the end when the revenue pie gets bigger, it still becomes cost prohibitive/reckless for the mid-revenue/low-revenue ball clubs to keep their marquee guys. It's this dynamic that forces the have-nots to have baseball IQ's that virtually double their big market counterparts, and it's this dynamic that allows a dolt like Hank Steinbrenner to run a team that will be one of the odds-on favorites to win it all in 2008. (Of course, in the last eleven years, the Florida Marlins have won as many World Series as the Mets, Dodgers, Angels, White Sox, and Cubs combined so what the hell do I know.)
The Cabrera/Willis-to-Detroit trade was one of those fun "holy shit!" initial reaction trades, where as a baseball fan you immediately start scrambling for Detroit's roster so you can start constructing their opening day lineup. "Mother of God!....Granderson .... Polanco .... Cabrera .... Ordonez .... Sheffield ..... Guillen .... I-Rod .... whoever's playing left .... damn, they're gonna have Renteria in the f--ing NINE HOLE!" And then once you get past that, you realize that even with Willis they still don't have the pitching juice to overtake Boston (or Cleveland, for that matter). Check out the 2007 ERA's of the top four in Detroit's 2008 rotation:
Verlander 3.66
Willis 5.17
Bonderman 5.01
Rogers 4.43 (and a year's worth of injuries)
I'll take the front of the Red Sox and Indians' rotations over that every day and twice on Sundays. And this also doesn't begin to scratch the surface on the Tigers' bullpen issues, which still persist (and are exacerbated by the injury to Joel Zumaya).
Finally, what is the over/under on average attendance for the Florida Marlins this season? 8,000? 7,000? 4,500? Seriously, why would they even play home games? I think the Marlins need to just scrap the whole "Florida" thing and just get a sponsor and turn into one of those barnstorming teams where their whole year consists of road games and they travel from town to town on a motor coach bus. You know, one of those rigs with a phone booth sized bathroom in the back where you get hit with the pungent smell of other people's waste if your within ten rows of the back of the bus? The Marlin Express baby! They'd be like the Globetrotters! The Harlem Marlins! Josh Willingham could throw buckets of confetti at the umpires; Hanley Ramirez and Dan Uggla could turn double plays by using some fancy, behind the back flip throws, the melodious "Sweet Georgia Brown" playing in the background the entire time of course. Totally sweet.
Now some time wasters, because the economy is doing a little too well ....
LINKS
- The drive time shows at 1560 have been ELFED!!! Merry Christmas, Gamers!!! [Elf Yourself]
- About the only good thing left about Sportscenter is the hilarious commercials for Sportscenter. Here is the latest one. [Awful Announcing]
- SI compares the BCS contenders to pro wrestlers, which is right up my alley. The only thing missing is some sweet youtube clips. [SI Quick Slants]
- This was sent to me by an LSU fan, with the email "An Ohio State fan learns about golf." Neal, this is just wrong. Click here.
- A string of Jon Scheyer photoshops that are ... well, don't view this string while drinking anything or your keyboard will get soaked. [Scout.com]
- Peter King reveals his true feelings for Brett Favre [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
- Credit card theft taunts at Doug Gottlieb in an online chat. Like I'm not gonna put up a link to that. [Deadspin]
- A 2008 Heisman forecast that doesn't include Tim Tebow. Not smart. He'll fry this guy with bolts of lightning from his eyes. [Heisman Pundit]
Congrats to Missouri QB Chase Daniel for getting the invite to New York City for the Heisman Trophy awards ceremony. He's had many fine performances this season, but none better than this ....
Which brings us to Kentucky freshman Pat Patterson, who upped the ante and actually ate one DURING the game ....
BRAVO.
MORE VIDS!
When I was a kid, Kermit the Frog sang songs like "It's Not Easy Being Green" and "Rainbow Connection". It appears that with the death of Jim Henson, he's gotten in touch with hsi dark side and significantly edgier ....
Melissa Theuriau almost makes me want to move to France. I like at the 0:30 mark where she mentions President "George Boosh"...
They are in the Division 1-AA semifinals, folks ... Appalchian State! And they are HOT HOT HOT!! Best video ever ... and by best, I mean worst ...
THE HORROR Revisited
Special thanks go out to our Production Director, Frankie the Bull, for constructing this dose of perspective when we go to assess the junk in JLH's trunk. The question now becomes was JLH rocking some sort of nuclear spandex underneath the leather pants to keep everything corralled. What says you?
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Stone Cold Bloggin', 12/5/07
A quick follow up to my earlier BCS post. As you can tell from my bottom line predictions, I think the BCS got the correct two teams given the system that we have in place. My problem is not with the system (although a nice 8 or 16 team playoff would be a welcome sight), but rather with pretty much ALL of the teams that are in the BCS "conversation". These teams all had chances to seize the moment over the last month or so and not only did nobody step up, but some of these so-called heavyweights shriveled up in historic fashion. Ohio State? You got Zooked. At home. In November. LSU? They washed the taste of Darren McFadden out of their mouths just in time to win Saturday. (Note: Notre Dame has a longer current winning streak -- two -- than either BCS championship participant.) Oklahoma? We can excuse one loss to an unranked team, maybe. Two? Well, have fun in Glendale. Georgia? Kansas? Win your division, then maybe we can talk. Missouri? Bastards. If you or West Virginia had just taken care of business, than none of this is an issue. Granted, we'd have had Missouri in the title game, but I would have at least not needed to be medicated on the air on Monday. And speaking of West Virginia .... Rich Rodriguez, don't even look at me. Seriously, you're in "time out". You got beat by a guy with a caterpillar on his face. At home. In November. Getting Wannied is WAY worse than getting Zooked. Indeed, across the board ... NO STONES in college football this season.
Come to think of it, screw Ohio State and LSU. Neither of you deserve it. We're going with undefeated Hawaii against Tim Tebow in the BCS title game. And no, I don't mean Hawaii against Florida, I mean Hawaii against Tim Tebow. Tim Tebow taking on all of Hawaii by himself. And not just the football team but the entire population of Hawaii. Crushing all of their heads with his bare hands, ravaging all of their luaus, and then using a palm tree as a tooth pick. Tim Tebow is a superhero. He could do it.
Ok, now a gaggle of videos and links to keep you occupied while you should be working:
Who makes less sense? Emmitt Smith .....
.... or the Ultimate Warrior.
(NOTE: Stuart Scott is an acceptable write-in vote based purely on his horrific use of the word "bananas" at the beginning of the Emmitt clip.)
HEY, LET'S DO MORE VIDEOS!
If you don't have enough money to buy the Rocky DVD box set, this video actually summarizes the entire Rocky series -- all SIX movies in about 24 seconds! A real time saver!
You remember Schoolhouse Rock? The five minute Saturday morning vignettes about harmless subjects like adjectives, simple math, and the Constitution? Well, apparently this is what Schoolhouse Rock would be if it were still around today. Awesome!
For those of you who have a phobia about sitting on strange toilet seats, this contraption is a godsend.
FINALLY, A BIG LOU HOLTZ FINALE!!
This might be Lou Holtz's finest hour. I'd love to see him give this speech to the Knicks. Would they even take their headphones off?
"If you were committed to excellence, and if you care about the Knicks and about the fans, and the people that sacrifice to buy those tickets ... then you would give maximum effort!"
Maybe so. I guess we need to get them committed to that there excellence thing first, Coach. something we've been trying to do for the last, oh, 50 years.
Come to think of it, screw Ohio State and LSU. Neither of you deserve it. We're going with undefeated Hawaii against Tim Tebow in the BCS title game. And no, I don't mean Hawaii against Florida, I mean Hawaii against Tim Tebow. Tim Tebow taking on all of Hawaii by himself. And not just the football team but the entire population of Hawaii. Crushing all of their heads with his bare hands, ravaging all of their luaus, and then using a palm tree as a tooth pick. Tim Tebow is a superhero. He could do it.
Ok, now a gaggle of videos and links to keep you occupied while you should be working:
- "Suddenly" Suzyn Waldman (the faux Suzyn) has a take on this whole Johan Santana thing. [Hugging Harold Reynolds]. (By the way, if you want to hear the time Johnny Harris and I completely and utterly clowned Suzyn Waldman, click here and then here.)
- Those Oscar de la Hoya photos of him in fishnet - unfortunately, it sounds like they were fake. [Macho Chip]
- Best redneck picture page of all time. [Redneck page]
- Maybe the most disturbing Charlie Weis photoshop job of all time. [With Leather]
- This guy likes Jimmy Dean sausage a little too much. Be sure to listen to the very end. [Filecabi.net]
- A site dedicated to the wind beneath all of our wings -- Coach Eddie O. [EDSBL]
- Why the Titans have the worst nickname in sports. [AOL Funhouse]
Who makes less sense? Emmitt Smith .....
.... or the Ultimate Warrior.
(NOTE: Stuart Scott is an acceptable write-in vote based purely on his horrific use of the word "bananas" at the beginning of the Emmitt clip.)
HEY, LET'S DO MORE VIDEOS!
If you don't have enough money to buy the Rocky DVD box set, this video actually summarizes the entire Rocky series -- all SIX movies in about 24 seconds! A real time saver!
You remember Schoolhouse Rock? The five minute Saturday morning vignettes about harmless subjects like adjectives, simple math, and the Constitution? Well, apparently this is what Schoolhouse Rock would be if it were still around today. Awesome!
For those of you who have a phobia about sitting on strange toilet seats, this contraption is a godsend.
FINALLY, A BIG LOU HOLTZ FINALE!!
This might be Lou Holtz's finest hour. I'd love to see him give this speech to the Knicks. Would they even take their headphones off?
"If you were committed to excellence, and if you care about the Knicks and about the fans, and the people that sacrifice to buy those tickets ... then you would give maximum effort!"
Maybe so. I guess we need to get them committed to that there excellence thing first, Coach. something we've been trying to do for the last, oh, 50 years.
THE HORROR!
This is a recent photo of Jennifer Love Hewitt taken from behind. Now I know how my high school girlfriends feel when they see my picture on the 1560 The Game website. (i.e. "holy shit, he put on some weight!")
I prefer to remember Jennifer during a time in her career when she didn't look like she was ready to take on the blocking sled. Indeed, let's go back to a happier time and place, when JLH was just beginning to master her (short lived) fastball as Sarah on "Party of Five", where her main responsibility was dealing with Bailey's perpetual stupidity, which included this little drunk driving gem. Enjoy .....
Saturday, December 1, 2007
BCS War of Attrition
It all seemed so simple. Two evening games on Saturday would decide which two teams would meet in New Orleans on January 7. One game was a marquee event, Missouri vs Oklahoma for the Big XII title. (The fact that "marquee event" and "Missouri" are appearing together in a sentence pertainin
g to college football shows you how utterly ridiculous this season has been.) The other was a given. A blowout. Something to switch over to during commercials of the OU-Mizzou tilt. It was West Virginia taking on Dave Wannstedt and the Pitt Panthers in Morgantown. West Virginia has a backfield whose average 40 time is roughly 1.3 seconds. Pitt's entire team is basically LeSean McCoy. And Wanny's halfstache. Can't forget the halfstache, the most intimidating piece of facial hair this side of Rollie Fingers handlebar 'stache (or ANY handlebar 'stache for that matter).
So it was simple. West Virginia hangs 60 on Wanny, and then the Mountaineers would either take on Missouri on January 7 or (if Oklahoma beat Mizzou) they would take on Ohio State, who last played a game sometime in 2005. Well, for the love of Appalachian State, anyone who has watched college football in 2007 knows that nothing is simple. 2007 is a brave new world - a world where Notre Dame gets manhandled by Navy and Air Force and where Ron Zook is considered a cross between Bear Bryant and Tony Robbins (with a sprinkling of Mr. Belding paternal giddiness mixed in). So when it came time for someone to totally screw up the BCS title game once and for all, the gods picked the perfect guy for the job. They chose somebody who has made screwing things up look routine. They chose Wanny. The final score -- Pittsburgh 13, West Virginia/the refs/what was left of our sanity 9.
So now where do we go? We are basically assured of a TWO LOSS team in the BCS title game,
and there is a better than decent chance that said two loss team may not have even won its division of its conference. That's right, it may be deemed that a team that was just good enough to be second in its division of the SEC is worthy of holding up the big glass egg on January 7. As Little Carmine Lupertazzi would say, "What a fucking stagmire."
And for all of you who were touting how this was the "best college football season ever" -- well, I hope you're happy. Just to be clear, a whole bunch of upsets doesn't mean that a season is the "best ever". It means that there are a whole bunch of teams that are quite flawed. More flawed than we thought. It also means that the end game in this whole thing is a January 7 clusterfuck pitting a team (Ohio State) who basically watched all of the other teams step on their own dicks for two weeks against a likely two loss team who (a) didn't even play in its conference title game and/or who (b) backed into the title game because Rich Rodriguez was outcoached by the village idiot, and against Oklahoma Chase Daniel finally turned into the pumpkin whose body shape he has been sporting all season. Best season ever? No. "Best seasons ever" have a few memorable upsets, a smattering of regular season classics, and culminate with two clear cut, traditional power houses squaring off for all of the marbles. 2005 was a "best season ever". 2007 is just a good reason to drink.
So who will Ohio State play? When we all woke up this morning, the BCS Rankings looked like this:
1. Missouri
2. West Virginia
3. Ohio State
4. Georgia
5. Kansas
6. Virginia Tech
7. LSU
8. USC
9. Oklahoma
10. Florida
11. Boston College
12. Hawaii
So let's do this. Let's assess who Ohio State should play and then I'll predict how the BCS bowl scene will shake out. As mentioned earlier, Missouri and West Virginia both spit the bit tonight. Other results: Virginia Tech over BC, LSU over Tennessee, USC over UCLA, and Hawaii (the only undefeated team left) hung around long enough for Ty Willingham to channel his inner Wannstedt. The Warriors came back from a 21-0 deficit to beat UW, 35-28.
Eliminating Boston College and Florida (both 3 loss teams), and assuming that there is no chance in hell that Missouri or West Virginia are part of the conversation with losses on Saturday, that leaves us with the following:
4. Georgia
5. Kansas
6. Virginia Tech
7. LSU
8. USC
9. Oklahoma
12. Hawaii
I have a huge problem with a team not winning its own conference and then being allowed to play in the BCS title game. It's happened twice (2001 Nebraska, 2003 Oklahoma) and I still can't believe a bylaw hasn't been passed by the BCS preventing this from happening again. A team is not even the best in its conference (or in the case of Georgia and Kansas, their division of their conference) and they have the inside track on the game for the whole enchilada? Since this is about who I think should play Ohio State, I am going to kindly ask the two Marks (Richt and Mangino) to step aside.
Also, while Hawaii has managed to navigate its entire schedule successfully (12-0), their schedule is ranked dead last in Sportsline's strength of schedule rankings, 119th overall. I could almost forgive that if they were blowing people out, but they've had a handful of close calls this season against the likes of Louisiana Tech (who LSU beat soundly by 48) and San Jose State, and in their only game against a BCS conference team, they needed 59 minutes and a last second pick to knock off 4-8 Washington. (Side bar - While Ty Willingham has only won 11 games in three years at UW, it's worth noting he has molded nearly 50 young men! Because that's what he does. He molds young men!) I digress ... my point with this paragraph was to basically say "Hey Hawaii, congrats on 12-0, enjoy the Sugar Bowl, you don't deserve a shot at the title". Also, I wanted to take a gratuitous pot shot at Ty Willingham. So we're good on both counts.
So that leaves us with Virginia Tech, LSU, USC, and Oklahoma. All of them are champions of their respective conferences, so we're good there. All of them have essentially the same won-loss record (USC played one less game since the PAC-10 has no title game.), with each having lost two games. Let's examine them all, shall we? (For moniker purposes, we'll label these four "The Contenders".)
(Notes: "BCS Ranking" is as of 12/1/07; "SOS" is the strength of schedule according to Sportsline.com as of 12/1/07; "Conf Rank" is the rank of the team's conference according to Sagarin as of 12/1/07; rankings of opponents in "Top 25 Wins" and "Losses" is their ranking at the time the game was played. Record in parentheses after each "Top 25 Win" and "Loss" is the opponent's final 2007 record.)
CONTENDER #1
VIRGINIA TECH (11-2, ACC Champion)
BCS RANKING: 6
SOS: 11
CONF RANK: 5
TOP 25 WINS: 10/6 @ #22 Clemson 41-23 (9-3)
11/24 @ #16 Virginia 33-21 (9-3)
12/1 vs #11 Boston College 30-16 (10-3)
LOSSES: 9/8 @ #2 LSU 48-7 (11-2)
10/25 vs #2 Boston College 14-10 (10-3)
ARGUMENT FOR: Tore through the ACC with the only loss a last second loss to then #2 Boston College ... remaining games were all wins and all but one by double digits ... avenged their only conference loss in the ACC title game ... has longest winning streak to end the season of any of the Contenders ... both losses were to teams that were in the top two at the time the game was played
MITIGATING FACTORS: Lost head-to-head in Baton Rouge to LSU in September ... check that, got their heads handed to them by LSU in Baton Rouge ... ACC was generally considered the weakest BCS conference for much of the year
BCS TITLE GAME FORECAST: Overcast, slight chance of rain
_____________________________________________________________
CONTENDER #2
LSU (11-2, SEC Champion)
BCS RANKING: 7
SOS: 27
CONF RANK: 1
TOP 25 WINS: 9/8 vs #9 Virginia Tech 48-7 (11-2)
10/6 vs #9 Florida 28-24 (9-3)
10/20 vs #17 Auburn 30-24 (8-4)
11/3 @ #17 Alabama 41-34 (6-6)
12/1 vs #14 Tennessee 21-14 (9-4)
LOSSES: 10/13 @ #17 Kentucky 43-37, 3OT (7-5)
11/23 vs Arkansas 50-48, 3OT (8-4)
ARGUMENT FOR: Won the nation's toughest conference in a year where the conference was probably its deepest from top to bottom ... have most impressive non-conference win of any of the contenders (48-7 vs VA Tech) ... both losses were in triple overtime ... most Top 25 wins of any of the Contenders
MITIGATING FACTORS: Walked a tight rope all year with close games ... could've gone 13-0 as easily as they could've gone 8-5 ... defense never seemed to find itself the second half of the season ... when they needed a win in November to stay at #1, they lost at home to Arkansas (gave up 385 yards rushing)
BCS TITLE GAME FORECAST: Partly Sunny and mild
____________________________________________________________________
CONTENDER #3
SOUTHERN CAL (10-2, Pac-10 Champion)
BCS RANKING: 8
SOS: 74
CONF RANK: 2
TOP 25 WINS: 9/8 @ #14 Nebraska 49-31 (5-7)
11/10 @ #24 California 24-17 (6-6)
11/22 @ #6 Arizona State 44-24 (10-2)
LOSSES: 10/6 vs Stanford 24-23 (4-8)
10/27 @ #5 Oregon 24-17 (8-4)
ARGUMENT FOR: Finished season on convincing four game winning streak, including 20-point win at #6 Arizona State ... only team to defeat Oregon State after September ... arguably the most talented team in the country ... Trojans don't duck anybody, scheduled Nebraska and ND out of conference (who knew they would both implode?)
MITIGATING FACTORS: Among the four Contenders, has by far the worst loss (Stanford at home, 24-23) ... only one truly impressive win, considering how all of their foes ended 2007 ... computers are killing USC, so any pickup with the human polls will likely be cancelled out by poor computer ranking ... weak non conference schedule, but not for lack of trying to "schedule up"
BCS TITLE GAME FORECAST: Rain, lots and lots of rain (beware of mudslides)
___________________________________________________________________
CONTENDER #4
OKLAHOMA (11-2, BIG 12 Champion)
BCS RANKING: 9
SOS: 59
CONF RANK: 4
TOP 25 WINS: 10/6 vs #19 Texas 28-21 (9-3)
10/13 vs #11 Missouri 41-31 (11-2)
12/1 vs #1 Missouri 38-17 (11-2)
LOSSES: 9/29 @ Colorado 27-24 (6-6)
11/17 @ Texas Tech 34-27 (8-4)
ARGUMENT FOR: Most impressive of all of the conference title game winners, blowing out #1 Missouri ... maybe most complete team in the country on both sides of the ball ... of 11 wins, 10 were by double digits and 7 were by 20+ points
MITIGATING FACTORS: Other than wins against Missouri, only other Top 25 win was against a marginal Texas team on a neutral field ... losses were both to unranked teams ... Texas Tech game was not as close as final score ... didn't play Kansas ... non conference schedule was weak ... the computers hate OU even more than they hate USC
BCS TITLE GAME FORECAST: Thunderstorms, maybe some hail
____________________________________________________________________
Assessing all of the empirical arguments for and against (i.e. whose body of work most justifies their going), and combining that with the "eyeball test" (i.e. my own semi-educated opinion on who I think is the best equipped to and most deserving of playing in the BCS title game), I would rank The Contenders in the following order:
1. LSU
2. Virginia Tech
3. Oklahoma
4. USC
Ironically, if I were coaching Ohio State I'd probably be more concerned about playing USC or Oklahoma than LSU or Virginia Tech simply because of the pure horse power they each have on both sides of the ball. Plus, USC and OU have both been very impressive the last couple weeks of the season. That said, the bodies of work that LSU and Virginia Tech have put together over the entire season are both more impressive than USC and Oklahoma (and the BCS rankings bear this out somewhat as the computers are not big fans of USC or Oklahoma and their weaker non-conference schedules). LSU has navigated the largest number of difficult games of any Contender, and Virginia Tech is actually playing the best football since November 1 (no losses). Both LSU and Virginia Tech played harder schedules and their two losses were not nearly as bad as the two losses USC and OU each incurred. LSU lost two games in triple overtime, and Virginia Tech lost two games to #2 teams in the country at the time (and avenged one of those losses in the ACC title game). On the other hand, USC lost to a 40 point underdog at home and OU lost to two unranked teams, one (Colorado) on a last second FG and the other (Texas Tech) in a game that was not as close as the final score would indicate.
I think LSU and Virginia Tech deserve to be in the conversation more than USC or OU. So I needed to pick a winner between LSU and Virginia Tech. In the end, the tie breaker for me is that these two teams played each other in September, and LSU won handily 48-7. Since that time, Virginia Tech has improved and LSU has probably slid back a little, but not enough either way for me to ignore the result of that game. If it was a last second field goal that propelled LSU, maybe we put the result aside. But for something this important, a shot at the national title, a team should be rewarded for a convincing head-to-head win. We spend all of this time complaining how the BCS selection process is so subjective and teams don't decide it on the field, and yet here we have an actual game that was played between the two teams to help light the way. I'll take it.
The 800 pound gorilla in the room is the fact that we are counting on the coaches and the Harris poll voters to actually do the "right thing" and jump one of The Contenders over Georgia and Kansas. Keep in mind, the coaches are a group that vote each week without having seen a lot of these teams even play (other than highlights), and the Harris poll voters I'm pretty sure include Richard Simmons, Drew Carey, and the chick who played Rudy Huxtable on "The Cosby Show". Counting on these folks to do the sensible thing is like counting on Britney Spears to wear underwear. This is all my way of saying that I can't shake this horrible feeling that we're going to see Ohio State vs Georgia on January 7, to the point where I'd say it's a coin flipper. I hope I'm wrong.
So how should the BCS play out? In my opinion, like this:
BCS TITLE GAME - Ohio State vs LSU
ORANGE BOWL - Virginia Tech vs West Virginia
FIESTA BOWL - Oklahoma vs Kansas
SUGAR BOWL - Georgia vs Hawaii
ROSE BOWL - Illinois vs USC
Virginia Tech and West Virginia would be a nice old school Big East, pre-ACC defections matchup. OU and Kansas actually didn't play this year so we could actually get a chance to fill in the one remaining Big 12 gap from the regular season. And the Rose Bowl will protect the Big 10 vs Pac-10 property at all costs.
How will the BCS play out? I'm going to stand by my opinion that the coaches and Harris poll voters are all braindead and go with this:
BCS TITLE GAME - Ohio State vs Georgia
ORANGE BOWL - Virginia Tech vs Kansas
FIESTA BOWL - Oklahoma vs West Virginia
SUGAR BOWL - LSU vs Hawaii
ROSE BOWL - Illinois vs USC
I hope I'm wrong. It didn't have to be this way. Damn you, Wanny. The blood of this stagmire is on your hands.
g to college football shows you how utterly ridiculous this season has been.) The other was a given. A blowout. Something to switch over to during commercials of the OU-Mizzou tilt. It was West Virginia taking on Dave Wannstedt and the Pitt Panthers in Morgantown. West Virginia has a backfield whose average 40 time is roughly 1.3 seconds. Pitt's entire team is basically LeSean McCoy. And Wanny's halfstache. Can't forget the halfstache, the most intimidating piece of facial hair this side of Rollie Fingers handlebar 'stache (or ANY handlebar 'stache for that matter).So it was simple. West Virginia hangs 60 on Wanny, and then the Mountaineers would either take on Missouri on January 7 or (if Oklahoma beat Mizzou) they would take on Ohio State, who last played a game sometime in 2005. Well, for the love of Appalachian State, anyone who has watched college football in 2007 knows that nothing is simple. 2007 is a brave new world - a world where Notre Dame gets manhandled by Navy and Air Force and where Ron Zook is considered a cross between Bear Bryant and Tony Robbins (with a sprinkling of Mr. Belding paternal giddiness mixed in). So when it came time for someone to totally screw up the BCS title game once and for all, the gods picked the perfect guy for the job. They chose somebody who has made screwing things up look routine. They chose Wanny. The final score -- Pittsburgh 13, West Virginia/the refs/what was left of our sanity 9.
So now where do we go? We are basically assured of a TWO LOSS team in the BCS title game,
and there is a better than decent chance that said two loss team may not have even won its division of its conference. That's right, it may be deemed that a team that was just good enough to be second in its division of the SEC is worthy of holding up the big glass egg on January 7. As Little Carmine Lupertazzi would say, "What a fucking stagmire."And for all of you who were touting how this was the "best college football season ever" -- well, I hope you're happy. Just to be clear, a whole bunch of upsets doesn't mean that a season is the "best ever". It means that there are a whole bunch of teams that are quite flawed. More flawed than we thought. It also means that the end game in this whole thing is a January 7 clusterfuck pitting a team (Ohio State) who basically watched all of the other teams step on their own dicks for two weeks against a likely two loss team who (a) didn't even play in its conference title game and/or who (b) backed into the title game because Rich Rodriguez was outcoached by the village idiot, and against Oklahoma Chase Daniel finally turned into the pumpkin whose body shape he has been sporting all season. Best season ever? No. "Best seasons ever" have a few memorable upsets, a smattering of regular season classics, and culminate with two clear cut, traditional power houses squaring off for all of the marbles. 2005 was a "best season ever". 2007 is just a good reason to drink.
So who will Ohio State play? When we all woke up this morning, the BCS Rankings looked like this:
1. Missouri
2. West Virginia
3. Ohio State
4. Georgia
5. Kansas
6. Virginia Tech
7. LSU
8. USC
9. Oklahoma
10. Florida
11. Boston College
12. Hawaii
So let's do this. Let's assess who Ohio State should play and then I'll predict how the BCS bowl scene will shake out. As mentioned earlier, Missouri and West Virginia both spit the bit tonight. Other results: Virginia Tech over BC, LSU over Tennessee, USC over UCLA, and Hawaii (the only undefeated team left) hung around long enough for Ty Willingham to channel his inner Wannstedt. The Warriors came back from a 21-0 deficit to beat UW, 35-28.
Eliminating Boston College and Florida (both 3 loss teams), and assuming that there is no chance in hell that Missouri or West Virginia are part of the conversation with losses on Saturday, that leaves us with the following:
4. Georgia
5. Kansas
6. Virginia Tech
7. LSU
8. USC
9. Oklahoma
12. Hawaii
I have a huge problem with a team not winning its own conference and then being allowed to play in the BCS title game. It's happened twice (2001 Nebraska, 2003 Oklahoma) and I still can't believe a bylaw hasn't been passed by the BCS preventing this from happening again. A team is not even the best in its conference (or in the case of Georgia and Kansas, their division of their conference) and they have the inside track on the game for the whole enchilada? Since this is about who I think should play Ohio State, I am going to kindly ask the two Marks (Richt and Mangino) to step aside.
Also, while Hawaii has managed to navigate its entire schedule successfully (12-0), their schedule is ranked dead last in Sportsline's strength of schedule rankings, 119th overall. I could almost forgive that if they were blowing people out, but they've had a handful of close calls this season against the likes of Louisiana Tech (who LSU beat soundly by 48) and San Jose State, and in their only game against a BCS conference team, they needed 59 minutes and a last second pick to knock off 4-8 Washington. (Side bar - While Ty Willingham has only won 11 games in three years at UW, it's worth noting he has molded nearly 50 young men! Because that's what he does. He molds young men!) I digress ... my point with this paragraph was to basically say "Hey Hawaii, congrats on 12-0, enjoy the Sugar Bowl, you don't deserve a shot at the title". Also, I wanted to take a gratuitous pot shot at Ty Willingham. So we're good on both counts.
So that leaves us with Virginia Tech, LSU, USC, and Oklahoma. All of them are champions of their respective conferences, so we're good there. All of them have essentially the same won-loss record (USC played one less game since the PAC-10 has no title game.), with each having lost two games. Let's examine them all, shall we? (For moniker purposes, we'll label these four "The Contenders".)
(Notes: "BCS Ranking" is as of 12/1/07; "SOS" is the strength of schedule according to Sportsline.com as of 12/1/07; "Conf Rank" is the rank of the team's conference according to Sagarin as of 12/1/07; rankings of opponents in "Top 25 Wins" and "Losses" is their ranking at the time the game was played. Record in parentheses after each "Top 25 Win" and "Loss" is the opponent's final 2007 record.)
CONTENDER #1
VIRGINIA TECH (11-2, ACC Champion)
BCS RANKING: 6
SOS: 11
CONF RANK: 5
TOP 25 WINS: 10/6 @ #22 Clemson 41-23 (9-3)
11/24 @ #16 Virginia 33-21 (9-3)
12/1 vs #11 Boston College 30-16 (10-3)
LOSSES: 9/8 @ #2 LSU 48-7 (11-2)
10/25 vs #2 Boston College 14-10 (10-3)
ARGUMENT FOR: Tore through the ACC with the only loss a last second loss to then #2 Boston College ... remaining games were all wins and all but one by double digits ... avenged their only conference loss in the ACC title game ... has longest winning streak to end the season of any of the Contenders ... both losses were to teams that were in the top two at the time the game was played
MITIGATING FACTORS: Lost head-to-head in Baton Rouge to LSU in September ... check that, got their heads handed to them by LSU in Baton Rouge ... ACC was generally considered the weakest BCS conference for much of the year
BCS TITLE GAME FORECAST: Overcast, slight chance of rain
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CONTENDER #2
LSU (11-2, SEC Champion)
BCS RANKING: 7
SOS: 27
CONF RANK: 1
TOP 25 WINS: 9/8 vs #9 Virginia Tech 48-7 (11-2)
10/6 vs #9 Florida 28-24 (9-3)
10/20 vs #17 Auburn 30-24 (8-4)
11/3 @ #17 Alabama 41-34 (6-6)
12/1 vs #14 Tennessee 21-14 (9-4)
LOSSES: 10/13 @ #17 Kentucky 43-37, 3OT (7-5)
11/23 vs Arkansas 50-48, 3OT (8-4)
ARGUMENT FOR: Won the nation's toughest conference in a year where the conference was probably its deepest from top to bottom ... have most impressive non-conference win of any of the contenders (48-7 vs VA Tech) ... both losses were in triple overtime ... most Top 25 wins of any of the Contenders
MITIGATING FACTORS: Walked a tight rope all year with close games ... could've gone 13-0 as easily as they could've gone 8-5 ... defense never seemed to find itself the second half of the season ... when they needed a win in November to stay at #1, they lost at home to Arkansas (gave up 385 yards rushing)
BCS TITLE GAME FORECAST: Partly Sunny and mild
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CONTENDER #3
SOUTHERN CAL (10-2, Pac-10 Champion)
BCS RANKING: 8
SOS: 74
CONF RANK: 2
TOP 25 WINS: 9/8 @ #14 Nebraska 49-31 (5-7)
11/10 @ #24 California 24-17 (6-6)
11/22 @ #6 Arizona State 44-24 (10-2)
LOSSES: 10/6 vs Stanford 24-23 (4-8)
10/27 @ #5 Oregon 24-17 (8-4)
ARGUMENT FOR: Finished season on convincing four game winning streak, including 20-point win at #6 Arizona State ... only team to defeat Oregon State after September ... arguably the most talented team in the country ... Trojans don't duck anybody, scheduled Nebraska and ND out of conference (who knew they would both implode?)
MITIGATING FACTORS: Among the four Contenders, has by far the worst loss (Stanford at home, 24-23) ... only one truly impressive win, considering how all of their foes ended 2007 ... computers are killing USC, so any pickup with the human polls will likely be cancelled out by poor computer ranking ... weak non conference schedule, but not for lack of trying to "schedule up"
BCS TITLE GAME FORECAST: Rain, lots and lots of rain (beware of mudslides)
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CONTENDER #4
OKLAHOMA (11-2, BIG 12 Champion)
BCS RANKING: 9
SOS: 59
CONF RANK: 4
TOP 25 WINS: 10/6 vs #19 Texas 28-21 (9-3)
10/13 vs #11 Missouri 41-31 (11-2)
12/1 vs #1 Missouri 38-17 (11-2)
LOSSES: 9/29 @ Colorado 27-24 (6-6)
11/17 @ Texas Tech 34-27 (8-4)
ARGUMENT FOR: Most impressive of all of the conference title game winners, blowing out #1 Missouri ... maybe most complete team in the country on both sides of the ball ... of 11 wins, 10 were by double digits and 7 were by 20+ points
MITIGATING FACTORS: Other than wins against Missouri, only other Top 25 win was against a marginal Texas team on a neutral field ... losses were both to unranked teams ... Texas Tech game was not as close as final score ... didn't play Kansas ... non conference schedule was weak ... the computers hate OU even more than they hate USC
BCS TITLE GAME FORECAST: Thunderstorms, maybe some hail
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Assessing all of the empirical arguments for and against (i.e. whose body of work most justifies their going), and combining that with the "eyeball test" (i.e. my own semi-educated opinion on who I think is the best equipped to and most deserving of playing in the BCS title game), I would rank The Contenders in the following order:
1. LSU
2. Virginia Tech
3. Oklahoma
4. USC
Ironically, if I were coaching Ohio State I'd probably be more concerned about playing USC or Oklahoma than LSU or Virginia Tech simply because of the pure horse power they each have on both sides of the ball. Plus, USC and OU have both been very impressive the last couple weeks of the season. That said, the bodies of work that LSU and Virginia Tech have put together over the entire season are both more impressive than USC and Oklahoma (and the BCS rankings bear this out somewhat as the computers are not big fans of USC or Oklahoma and their weaker non-conference schedules). LSU has navigated the largest number of difficult games of any Contender, and Virginia Tech is actually playing the best football since November 1 (no losses). Both LSU and Virginia Tech played harder schedules and their two losses were not nearly as bad as the two losses USC and OU each incurred. LSU lost two games in triple overtime, and Virginia Tech lost two games to #2 teams in the country at the time (and avenged one of those losses in the ACC title game). On the other hand, USC lost to a 40 point underdog at home and OU lost to two unranked teams, one (Colorado) on a last second FG and the other (Texas Tech) in a game that was not as close as the final score would indicate.
I think LSU and Virginia Tech deserve to be in the conversation more than USC or OU. So I needed to pick a winner between LSU and Virginia Tech. In the end, the tie breaker for me is that these two teams played each other in September, and LSU won handily 48-7. Since that time, Virginia Tech has improved and LSU has probably slid back a little, but not enough either way for me to ignore the result of that game. If it was a last second field goal that propelled LSU, maybe we put the result aside. But for something this important, a shot at the national title, a team should be rewarded for a convincing head-to-head win. We spend all of this time complaining how the BCS selection process is so subjective and teams don't decide it on the field, and yet here we have an actual game that was played between the two teams to help light the way. I'll take it.
The 800 pound gorilla in the room is the fact that we are counting on the coaches and the Harris poll voters to actually do the "right thing" and jump one of The Contenders over Georgia and Kansas. Keep in mind, the coaches are a group that vote each week without having seen a lot of these teams even play (other than highlights), and the Harris poll voters I'm pretty sure include Richard Simmons, Drew Carey, and the chick who played Rudy Huxtable on "The Cosby Show". Counting on these folks to do the sensible thing is like counting on Britney Spears to wear underwear. This is all my way of saying that I can't shake this horrible feeling that we're going to see Ohio State vs Georgia on January 7, to the point where I'd say it's a coin flipper. I hope I'm wrong.
So how should the BCS play out? In my opinion, like this:
BCS TITLE GAME - Ohio State vs LSU
ORANGE BOWL - Virginia Tech vs West Virginia
FIESTA BOWL - Oklahoma vs Kansas
SUGAR BOWL - Georgia vs Hawaii
ROSE BOWL - Illinois vs USC
Virginia Tech and West Virginia would be a nice old school Big East, pre-ACC defections matchup. OU and Kansas actually didn't play this year so we could actually get a chance to fill in the one remaining Big 12 gap from the regular season. And the Rose Bowl will protect the Big 10 vs Pac-10 property at all costs.
How will the BCS play out? I'm going to stand by my opinion that the coaches and Harris poll voters are all braindead and go with this:
BCS TITLE GAME - Ohio State vs Georgia
ORANGE BOWL - Virginia Tech vs Kansas
FIESTA BOWL - Oklahoma vs West Virginia
SUGAR BOWL - LSU vs Hawaii
ROSE BOWL - Illinois vs USC
I hope I'm wrong. It didn't have to be this way. Damn you, Wanny. The blood of this stagmire is on your hands.
EVEL KNIEVEL 1938-2007
As trail blazers go, Evel Knievel may have been the most underrated trail blazer of all time. (This does not include Jerome Kersey, who is the most underrated Trail Blazer, Portland-style, of all time.) Think about it. If it weren't for Evel Knievel, there would have been no inspiration for the Happy Days episodes where Fonzie jumped the trash cans on his motorcycle and where he jumped the shark on water skis, and thus the term "jump the shark" never becomes part of our lexicon. There would be no jumptheshark.net, and Fonzie's bag of tricks would begin and end with the ultra-lame bang-the-fist-on-the-jukebox gimmick. Knievel made Fonzie.
Also, Knievel single handedly kept thousands of physicians in business throughout the 70's and 80's as little boys everywhere spent summer afternoons building ramps, jumping their bikes over rows of shrubs, impaling themselves on the curb and breaking a bone or two in the process. The billions of dollars generated for our economy in physician visits and plaster for body casts for Evel wannabes is incalculable. Suffice to say, whatever status the United States has as an economic superpower, at least 50% of it can be attributed to the Evel Knievel Era of adolescent jackassery. (For the record, the remainder of the credit should go to internet porn and Britney Spears' frappucino addiction.)In his later years, Knievel was beset with a lengthy list of ailments, to the point where I think a good medical school should now offer a course called Evel Knievel: The Twilight Years. In the end, I prefer to remember him as the devil-may-care, tough ass sonofabitch who would hurl his body hundreds of feet in the air at top speed for our pleasure. Rest in Peace, Evel.
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